i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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