But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
