Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
