shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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