Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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