I need help removing her.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
