I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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