She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
