So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
