pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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