If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
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