i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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