Have you finally orgasmed yet?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were destined to go to rehab together
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
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