That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I don't think brook has ever known best
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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