It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
