Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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