Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
