I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
