I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
