this just has baby written all over it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
