SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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