don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
