So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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