everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
