It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
