they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Randomize
