Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
