Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think I sprained my soul last night
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
