I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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