We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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