The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
The feeling are messing with the penis
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
