i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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