i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
