For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I need to calm my uterus...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
