when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize