You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
