Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
