I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I would ride that face into the sunset
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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