OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish I only lived at night.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
