I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
