Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
