Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
