dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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