I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
