its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
