worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
