so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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