Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
