She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
