I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
